Separated from those below me.

I have money. Enough to be without concern, not enough to be completely careless. But I’ve never really cared about the amount I have, and more specifically I care less and less about buying stuff. Barring tech upgrades I really don’t think there’s much I want to buy. I’ve sold a lot of what I own, weirdly for more than what I paid in most cases, but really I’d almost feel like giving it away if it weren’t for scalpers. I want to at least see the things I own go to someone who will enjoy possessing them.

So then, why do I have money, to exchange for accommodation related expenses, services, and food. If I were to work nearly any job above the livable wage, I don’t think much would change about my lifestyle. Maybe I could afford a blightfully bigger house. For what? To store the stuff I don’t wish to buy. No, it’s purely to buy a house in a ‘better’ area, or with more land. To what end is this? A house with a lower chance of being broken into shouldn’t be some sort of fulfilling goal, it should be expected of virtually any house.

Collecting is a trap of fulfilment; living vicariously through a collection of every book in a series, every figure a company has released is a trap. If we chose to live through our legacy instead would this change anything? I’m not sure the answer to a complete life, whatever that means, is through a legacy. Certainly the famous names that echo in every text book on whichever subject did nothing by the discoverers who died in poverty, or unpopular in their own time, only appreciated after the fact.

As if to say, self fulfilment is some obvious solution. But how can a man without coin, or a man hated by their state live with internalised sense of completeness, unless deluding himself on death’s bed?

So, so low, a soft, melting weight is placed on any who realise how difficult it will be to within their day alter the concept. But I urge you not to fall for the trap of nostalgia or sentimentality. Instead in our time we have to play it out to the top, and then live a life worth living.